(OT) Praise/rant/etc #11

[Eye of Hoffs]

Well, and stop me if you have heard this one before, Thursday did not start well. My blood sugar had been fairly high all night and continued to be so through much of the day meaning I was not my usual carefree, happy-go-lucky, contented self. The cause is not clear. It could be some virus but most likely was the insulin having gone off and a fresh vial will hopefully cure all that.

And secondly I forgot it was someone's birthday today. But that happens pretty much every US holiday so she's used to it. Actually, I thought about it a few days ago and feared this may happen. So really I remembered that I was going to forget which has to count for something, right?

All that aside, the rest of the day was actually pretty good, food aside. Yes, you heard that right. Minimal rants today for a change. I awoke several times in the night from the continuing thunderclaps as the storm notched up twenty-four hours of almost continual lightning and rumbling. Even though electrical activity had ceased when we got up at around 6:30, the rain continued. I think the Dells got around 10” that day and a State of Emergency was declared in thirteen Wisconsin counties including two of those that the city straddles.

So we left that wretched place under a cloud, figuratively and literally, and were heading south to a better life. Such was our haste that we passed up the opportunity of breakfast there, assuming we would find someone later on. Unfortunately our Sat Nav soon took us away from the main roads and we never actually came across anywhere before reaching our first destination. So scratch breakfast. But at least away from the evil influence of the Dells the rain had ceased and the skies were beginning to clear.

Now the place we had just arrived at is somewhat difficult to describe. The nearest thing I have seen to it is probably the Shelburne Museum in Vermont, but this is far weirder. It's called The House on the Rock and was built as an artist's retreat by one Alex Jordan over the course of several decades, beginning in the 1940s. “The Rock” is Deer Shelter Rock, a column approximately two hundred feet tall. Initial work involved Jordan hauling all the cement, timber and other construction materials up by hand. Later he added an electric hoist and got some assistance and began collecting all sorts of unusual objects to display inside. A bridge was added to connect the cliff nearby and in the 1960s Jordan was persuaded to open his residence to the paying public. The large income this generated allowed him to further expand the buildings and collect more and more items. He sold the house shortly before his death in 1989 and the new owner continues his work to this day.

The museum is divided into three sections which you walk around self-guided. The first is essentially the living area of the house built and furnished very much in an oriental style with passageways and stairs leading here and there. It actually reminded me a lot of a James Bond supervillain's hideout and I was half expecting to bump into a bearded man with a Nordic or Germanic accent saying “Velcom to my howse Meester Hoarffs.”. This part also features the Infinity Room, a walkway that extends one hundred and fifty feet above the forest below supported only be a concrete counterweight.

The second section was in our opinion the best. It's a maze of rooms, building and walkways featuring, well, everything, a quirky miscellany of all sorts of stuff from ship artifacts to a reconstruction of a street from early twentieth century America. Many of the items in the house are not original but actually replicas built on site, but that hardly matters. Of particular note in this area are the crazy music machines that Jordan had made which play anything from ragtime to The Blue Danube. There was a cafe halfway through but that just had pizza and other stuff I wouldn't touch so I had to make do with the emergency Snickers bar from the backpack.

At the end of the second section was what they describe as the world's largest indoor carousel containing all sorts of fanciful creatures. The final section was more of the same including doll's houses and huge organs (the musical variety) and brought you back out to another view of the carousel. The dim lighting throughout the museum gave many items, particularly the dolls, a somewhat creepy appearance.

Our tour of the House took us around four hours and all in all I would say it had been our favourite experience so far so would definitely recommend you stop by if you are ever in the area.

Next came a quick thirty minute hop east to The Cave of the Mounds. Yes, as it was Caroline's birthday I promised to give her a hole in the ground. This particular one wasn't a mine but a spectacular natural cave accidentally uncovered by quarryman in the 1930s. Our tour guide was very knowledgable and enthusiastic about what we were seeing, and also very young. That meant he explained about all the cool caverns, the cool rock formations we saw, the cool way they had formed and the cool way that the caves stay so cool. Unfortunately most of what he said was drowned out by the wail of a ten-month-old that someone had thought was a great idea to bring along. It seemed like the child and his mother were having communication difficulties because it all seemed quite familiar:

“Waaaah”

“I'm sorry?”

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”

“Oh, does he want his milkies then?”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”.

“You want 2%?”

Whilst Caroline enjoyed seeing the various formations the whole experience was sadly marred by Milkgate. I am sure the guide and most of the other people on the tour would like to have dropped the kid down one of the potholes.

After our underground excursion it was decision time and we reconvened in our secret planning base at a deserted Starbucks near Madison. Our next booked stay is back on the Lake Superior shore in Michigan, but not until Saturday. We had given ourselves a free night between then and Wisconsin Dells to allow for some flexibility and maybe even an extra night in the Dells (ha!). That meant that we now had two nights free. There really wasn't much in Milwauke of interest, nor Madison. And I certainly wouldn't want to stay in a city like Oshkosh which has given its name to the most stupid of store titles, at least until I came across BCBGMAXAZRIA at the Maill of America. But the one place that seemed to have several things of interest was Green Bay, and as a football fan it would seem silly not to go through the area without a visit to such an iconic location.

So I directed my helmsman to plot a course for the Packer system  I was about to say the word “Engage” but Ensign Cheknav cut in with “Turn right on I-75, Highway 153, US 18 eastbound, Richlan G Mellinthrope Expressway” and by the end I had completely forgotten what I was doing.

With little to eat that day we were soon getting extremely hungry. Now, one of my many detractors, who shall remain completely anonymous and simply be known as Amy M, the saxophonist from the Boston area, had dared to suggest that I would take my wife to Denny's for dinner on her birthday. Pah. No way. And that had nothing to do with Cheknav being unable to locate any within ten parsecs of our current location. Instead Cheknav located a class M type steakhouse, called the Ponderosa, and we made for that. Sadly it was not much good, being some sort of buffet place, but that wasn't my fault! There probably aren't many people who would leave a all-you-can-eat buffet still hungry, but I somehow managed it.

Still, I had decided to spare no expense for the hotel, selecting the very best Super 8 that the Green Bay area has to offer. Alright, so it wasn't the Ritz and I may have chosen this place because it is very cheap but nevertheless well reviewed. Nevertheless it's clean and everything seems to be working. It has a fridge which many stops so far haven't, and it has a safe which only one previous location had. The pillows were soft and by blind chance it is literally next door do a Denny's and there is a Starbucks literally right across the street. Why, only one thing could prevent it receiving a Hoffs' Platinum Award â€" but yes, it does have The Weather Channel! So it's win, win, win!

I ask you, what more could any wife reasonably want?

Pictures of the day

Scenes from House on the Rock:

1) Typical section one.

2) To infinity and beyond.

3) One of the many extraordinary music machines.

4) Musical instrument used by organists on Septus-Omicron IV.

And...

5) Model of a typical American's stomach following a sugary breakfast,

[Sara Dale]

That lamp looks like the ones we can make.

If you ever get to Cooperstown, NY go to the Farmers Museum.  That's where Branwyn and I met when we went to NJ a few years ago.  They also have a wonderful carousel.  The farm is made up of old buildings from around the state.  Its an old town very lovely and interesting.  The main barn has farm equipment from years gone by.

[Razz]

More pictures of the house please! That sounded like it was an amazing place to visit.

In honor of Caroline's birthday there will be no smartass comments from me today.

[CharGar]

Tell Caroline there is a house on atlantic that she can have her pick of bday presents.  Lol.

[Natalia]

That is an amazing looking house!  I like the cave, too. Without the screaming 10 month old, I'm sure it would have been much better.

[Dr Alzheimer]

The breakfast joke was great, haha! And The organ is from Ceti Alpha IV, Sir!

[Zardoz of Crete aka Kimi aka Victoria Secret]

That is an amazing looking house!  I like the cave, too. Without the screaming 10 month old, I'm sure it would have been much better.

That had to be some echo

[Eye of Hoffs]

The breakfast joke was great, haha! And The organ is from Ceti Alpha IV, Sir!

Doh, sorry, I am always getting those planets confused.

[Eye of Hoffs]

More pictures of the house please! That sounded like it was an amazing place to visit.

It was. And we were so busy looking at stuff that we didn't really get round to taking many pictures, plus the lighting and scale of a lot of it made it difficult to get good shots. Unfortunately we didn't get any stills of the extraordinary carousel, only movies.

About the only other shots we have are of one of the many weird music machines, which suffers from the aforementioned scale problem, and a couple of the bizarre urn things outside.

[Razz]

I can't imagine the dedication one must have to be able to do something at such a grand scale as that

[kelmo]

Incredible. Thanks for sharing.

[Sara Dale]

Those urns look like something the devs would dream up.

[ii & Sabin]

my goodness - Lava Lizards!