(OT) Praise/rant/etc #6

[Eye of Hoffs]

Combined praise/rant
If we were doing The Tour de France, then yesterday would have been described as a "transition stage", a fairly innocuous day of racing that bridges between more dynamic areas. In the case  of our Tour de Roadworks, the next major event is visiting the International Wolf Center today. There would not have been time to properly do that yesterday so it was just basically  a leisurely drive east to the town of Ely with no particular thing to do. Consequently there's not a whole lot for me to say here - I'm sure you don't want to hear about lunch at Starbucks, meandering around a Target, browsing the gift shops in Ely or our first stop for fuel. Actually, fuel....well that can wait for another day.

Because of the lack of time constraints on yesterday's drive, and growing a bit weary of the major roads, we decided at one point to try running along one of the lesser ones. I think it was  highway number nine or something. But then again it could have been state road nine, or county route nine, or regional artery nine, or any combination thereof. Who knows? Let's just call it road-that-was-definitely-not-an-interstate nine.  Worse still is that some roads here can seem to have any number of designations. This can be particularly problematic with a Sat Nav in areas with lots of quick changes. You hear the system intone "Now entering Highway 169, state road 45, route 101 east, Ermintrude P. Snellenburger Junior Memorial Parkway" and by the time it's managed to get through that mouthful you've missed the next bloody turn.

Road-that-was-definitely-not-an-interstate nine proved a nice diversion. Everything was much quieter and the scenery much closer. It all seemed very nice until we came toward the next town. Here our folly became evident, for the Minnesota State Construction Enforcement Department, who have obviously been tracking us ever since we landed, had cleverly anticipated our detour and were out in full strength with a task force of bulldozers. But in a stunning series of maneuvers with speeds reaching nearly five mph at one point, Caroline managed to give them the slip and escape to the relative safety of the four lane main road.

Not really much else to say about the journey other than it being quiet apparent that this is not the most upscale part of the US: "I don't think we're in California anymore, Toto." Industrial Park Boulevard doesn't have quite the same cachet as Sunset, and I don't think I'd want to live on Mud Creek Drive. And it also appears that crime must be a major problem in this neck of the woods. We passed a motorbike on the side of the road with a "For Sale" sign in front, only underneath that it said "By Owner", something which seems a tad superfluous in more law-abiding areas.

But I mustn't finish without giving a special mention to the Grand Ely Lodge. We decided that we would go out and eat dinner there and as Google Maps said that it was only about a mile out of town and the weather was nice and clear, we decided we'd just walk it. Now I realise that walking any distance greater than about one block, or two if you are really adventurous, is frowned upon here in the US, Heck, why do that when you can just take your V46 truck with 4000hp of all-American* muscle (3900 of which is required in order to propel the weight of the engine)? But we began strolling over there and pretty soon of course the pavement (that's sidewalk to you) gave way and we were taking our lives in our hands dodging the oncoming traffic, which was fortunately pretty light (the traffic, not the vehicles, which were mostly those sixty ton V84 uber trucks with the man yelling "Damn Brits" and his wife saying "Betcha thems the sort of folks that goes to the store and asks for bread without none of that added sugary goodness").

Still, we made it in one piece and I can happily report that the Grand Ely gets the first Hoffs' Honorary Amish Plain Cooking Award of the trip. I had a nice 14oz steak, completely unseasoned, with fries and mushrooms, followed by plain ice cream without any blueberry maple syrup or anything, definitely my last meal choice for when I am on Death Row for jaywalking. As a bonus, Caroline had the surf n' turf with walleye as the surf. Up until the UO High Seas expansion came out I had never even heard of that particular fish, but here in Minnesota I have seen it on every menu to date with the possible exception of Hooters back in the Mall of America. I had been on at Caroline to try it for some time (on the basis that there is a 99% chance that she will like any new food but only the reciprocal 1% that I would). This time she finally did and after a tense moment of anticipation as she sampled it, she gave me the nod and announced that this was actually something that I might eat. So I got half of it and indeed, it was okay. This potentially doubles the number of things I may be able to eat at your average restaurant in the state, provided they can do it reasonably plain that is. The Grand Lodge had it in a bewildering number of variations: battered, breaded, broiled, stuffed, pan-fried (which we had), sugar sprinkle coated, and blackened. I mean, what the hell is blackened? Is that something you can only order with a reservation so that they can put it in the oven an hour before you get there to ensure it is burnt to a crisp? "This cames with yer choice of sides: Chernobyl baked potata, very crispy salad with thousand degree dressing, or charcoal."

So there you have it, not much of interest to report I'm afraid. Today we head out to (hopefully) see the wolves and later we'll be heading further east to Lake Superior. The Wi-Fi here is pretty bad and I am not sure they even have it at the next place, so you may not hear from me again until Duluth. Fifty One hundred demerits for anyone that just cheered.

* Excluding the 30-40% that is made overseas

Observation (for Ian)
Although the sample size has been much too low to give an official rating, the SQ of this backwater like Ely has warranted at least a 6 judging by some of the shop assistants and bar waitresses.

[Razz]

I mean, what the hell is blackened? Is that something you can only order with a reservation so that they can put it in the oven an hour before you get there to ensure it is burnt to a crisp? "This cames with yer choice of sides: Chernobyl baked potata, very crispy salad with thousand degree dressing, or charcoal."

This made me LOL at work. 

Your morning addition was a bit late today. I logged in earlier and there was no update. I thought that you guys finally slipped into a suger coma from all the overly processed, Corn Syrup drenched Merican food you have been eating.

Tip for eating American foods: Try smoking a few cigarettes before every meal. Kills the taste buds so the food here will taste much like the food in England.

[Ian James]

Note to hops: do not order blackened fish. You will not like it. It's spicy. The blackened name comes from all the spices they put on top of it before it is pan fried


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[Zardoz of Crete aka Kimi aka Victoria Secret]

Note to hops: do not order blackened fish. You will not like it. It's spicy. The blackened name comes from all the spices they put on top of it before it is pan fried


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oh, I love Blackened Fish. one of my Favors, when I was stationed in Fort Polk, LA used to get it all the time when I ate out.

http://www.wikihow.com/Blacken-Fish

[Nonel]

Definitely better with a strong fish so you don't only taste spices. Redfish (red drum) being the most quintessential. Black drum works equally well. But, I occasionally blacken the odd spanish mackerel when I catch them since they are a nice, strong, oily fish. Shark or alligator is fine, blackened, too. Though you might as well just be blackening chicken at that point.

Anyway.... if for some reason you choose to spend good money on a fish; you might as well skip the blackening so you can taste what your money bought you.

[Natalia]

I tried blackened fish once--never again.  The spices did not agree with my throat.  I don't drink chai tea either.

[Becca]

Another nice adventure. PS. how many demerits does Ian get for calling you Hops? Or is that a pet name for Hoffs?

[Razz]

Another nice adventure. PS. how many demerits does Ian get for calling you Hops? Or is that a pet name for Hoffs?

lol. I was going to mention that but Ian is not to be messed with. I was afraid she would Bagpipe me to death.

[Ian James]

Another nice adventure. PS. how many demerits does Ian get for calling you Hops? Or is that a pet name for Hoffs?

Probably a bunch, but I could always arrange to bagpipe outside his house next time in England, which may be in summer 2017... .just saying

[Zardoz of Crete aka Kimi aka Victoria Secret]

Another nice adventure. PS. how many demerits does Ian get for calling you Hops? Or is that a pet name for Hoffs?

Probably a bunch, but I could always arrange to bagpipe outside his house next time in England, which may be in summer 2017... .just saying

*But Officer, it was a justifiable killing!  He was playing these loud bagpipes!*