(OT) Praise/rant/observation/shock of the day #3

[Eye of Hoffs]

So I finally despaired of the wife's icrap and decided to pick up a cheapo laptop and mouse. It's not like my PC back home but at least I'm no longer inputdevically challenged. And being unable to sleep as yet (see below), here is entry number three:

Praise *carefully edited to avoid upsetting Ian*
I'm delighted to see that the Weather Channel still has quality meatmeteorologists delivering dynamic, incisive analysis and dressingaddressing important climactic issues.

Rant
So I could probably get lynched in the US for saying this, but I really hate air conditioning. Aside from the cure being worse than the disease and it frequently giving me the chills, I can't stand the constant bloody racket, especially at night. Unfortunately I married the illegitimate love child of Frosty the Snowman and Elsa from Frozen, a woman who would have handed an Oscar straight to Arnie for his portrayal of Mr Freeze in Batman and Robin. She sleeps with the covers off and windows wide open even in the depths of winter whilst I lie shivering and partially mummified beside her.

Anyway, the system at this hotel is particularly annoying. The unit in the bedroom reminds me of our visit to Niagara Falls a few years back, but that's nothing compared to the one in the sitting area which is like having the Titanic boiler room on one side of you and a logging camp providing fuel for the furnaces on the other. On the first night I managed to get away with shutting the whole thing down (although you still have the drone coming from adjacent cryogenic chambers), but that led to the inevitable morning gripes about it being soooo hot and unbearable/Venusian/inhumane/etc. So the following nights only the living room one was shut down and I had to put up with the waterfall in the bedroom. But tonight is particularly bad. I tried the pillow over the head manoeuvre to no avail and then the Zen meditation routine, but it was useless. So I came into the sitting area on to the couch. But even though the industrial cacophony had gone the fact that the other fan is active means the air is still rushing through. Honestly, it's like I'm still on the plane coming over here. So I tried putting the TV on to drown the howl, but that's akin to bringing in the tarantulas to kill off all the roaches. *sobs* There's no escape from the air conditioned nightmare.

Oh, and whilst we ate at Denny's last night and didn't have the IHOP lucky dip experience, the booth next to us featured kids who would not sit still for a moment accompanied by parents who seemed oblivious to everything. Caroline had the discomfort of watching them plus them constantly looking at her and I had the annoyance of them repeatedly kicking the seat. So not enjoying the experience and Caroline forever fearful of me having one of my "will you tell your ******* kids to sit the **** still" explosions, which is probably not a good thing to do in this country considering you all carry AK-47s around with you, we hastily ate the entrée and left without dessert. Actually, that led to an amusing repeat of a classic Fawlty Towers scene involving the character known as "The Major", but I daren't share that in public.

Ah well, it'll soon be time to wish a not-so-fond farewell to The Twin Nightmares as we head off to the northern hinterland and Lake Itasca in a few hours. Perhaps I shall find some peace, quiet and relaxation at last, unless the construction crews are out redoing the Mississippi...

Bonus rant
US builders should consider incorporating those novel architectural devices called S-T-A-I-R-S into their designs. That way you could traverse the first and second floor of a hotel without having to wait for the bloody elevator.

Observation
That's so Dolphins...

Sign of the impending Apocalypse
The second sign was narrowly averted because the Fins managed to pull off the expected loss.

[Sara Dale]

Poor Hoffs.

[Razz]

We like our air conditioners loud here in the United States of Merica! It cuts down on the noise from guns shots during evening hours.

See Hoffs a little tolerance and understanding of our culture will go a long way.


P.S. Don't say "tolerance and understanding" in US public areas. You could get shot or hit in the head by an air conditioner.

[Lore Denin]

Rant
Oh, and whilst we ate at Denny's last night and didn't have the IHOP lucky dip experience, the booth next to us featured kids who would not sit still for a moment accompanied by parents who seemed oblivious to everything. Caroline had the discomfort of watching them plus them constantly looking at her and I had the annoyance of them repeatedly kicking the seat. So not enjoying the experience and Caroline forever fearful of me having one of my "will you tell your ******* kids to sit the **** still" explosions, which is probably not a good thing to do in this country considering you all carry AK-47s around with you, we hastily ate the entrée and left without dessert.

Our kids enjoyed meeting you as well.

-Lore

[kelmo]

*laughs*

[kelmo]

I hope ya do post Daily Hoffs! These are priceless observations. We are a lot a like, you and I. I am beginning to believe that reading yer OT material.

[Ian James]

Ok. So for years Hoffs has made fun of me for accessing my technology anytime. Including while on vacation. Saying I'm addicted to it. Well, now he's gone and purchased a laptop while on vacation. . .


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[kelmo]

Seems as if.

[LennyM95]

When I pause on the weather channel it is usually to mutter "What a coast line!!!" and I'm not talking about America. To combat the fridge sleeping area I employ an electric blanket on the NUKE setting. Works in any season.

I think Hoffs might need a soothing sound machine to sleep to ocean waves.

As for the kids you could try politely asking for a different table. If that did not work, walk out.

[zalfein]

 Regarding noisy heater or AC in a hotel, I always carry ear plugs (also useful if you end up going to a shooting range). You can get them at any pharmacies.

I tried noise cancelling Bose headphone last time I flew, it really made a big difference with the engine noise. So now imagine having that with the earplugs Or you could increase your chance of getting a normal room wearing your luck suit!

Z

[Dr Alzheimer]

Seems like Hoffs and I are married to the same woman and suffering of the same kind of cold-vulnerabiliy.

Wonderful humor! Great reading!

[Ian James]

Yeah, I love the description "Venusian" btw Hoffs, Joe loves your prose


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