New King of Giltown

[Enigma]

You are not the true all powerful leader you portray. For a True lord among lords, would not shake the ground beneath the feet of others. That is for mere mortals. A true lord among lords would cause the earth below macroers to crumble, sending them falling into the star riddled abyss below the great land of malas. Thou are nothing but an imposter. One who shal not take this land by force, nor see the great people of Gilfane bow before you.

Clean up your house, for you are only the wench of our true leader.

On your hands and knees, and scrub OUR LAWN!

Thou as a subject of my Realm you may have an opionion...... If it differs from mine I will take it out on all your guildmembers. Remember that next time your try and command your KING.

[Troop]

Be silent false king! I command you!

[Enigma]

Do not provoke me Troop!!!! a few of your gnomes where implanted with G explosion pots that I can set off while they are in Edwin's shop!!!! I am not afraid to blow up your gnomes.

[Bea]

Im not helping to clean up that mess !

[Troop]

The Gnomes are now reproducing at an alarming rate. I fear that they will aly with Sunchicken when he makes his coup attempt.

Be carefull Coyote Jack! Sunchicken wishes to steal your false kingship! I would be highly suspicious of Cash as well. I think he is in on the plot. He will strike you with a dagger when you least expect it. Trust no one Coyote Jack. Everyone is out to get you.

[Troop]

Im not helping to clean up that mess !

It would be useless to clean it up. The Gnomes are planning to keep on trashing it untill the false king departs from Gilfane.

[Troop]

Do not provoke me Troop!!!! a few of your gnomes where implanted with G explosion pots that I can set off while they are in Edwin's shop!!!! I am not afraid to blow up your gnomes.

You will fail and fail again against the Gnomes. Their numbers are greater than you can imagine!

I would concern myself more with the plot that is unfolding against your false monarchy. Sunchicken will likely be acting quickly now that his plan for a coup is complete. Beware of those that you think are freinds as they are plotting the coup along with their master Sunchicken.

[Troop]

Coyote Jack just can't hack it on his own. The people from Gilfane put up a good fight but the false king ran off and collected his friends purple razin and squisshy wakatama and returned. We must have realy ticked them off with our awesome non faction powers as they all resorted to dry looting our corpses.

No more murder counts.

[Enigma]

Dear Feebleminded subjects of GILTOWN,

You were looted this evening for failure to give murder counts. When you die a menu or "gump" (as a real player calls it) comes up and you can choose to give a murder count. Since you all failed at this the rules of my realm state you will be looted. Again and as often as I was able to spell it out for you silly towns folks, MURDER COUNTS = NO LOOTING. If you think I ran off for any other reason than to dump loot because I was close to weight limits you would be ridiculous. And my Knights came to watch the KING OF GILTOWN pwnwtf your face off, it was you silly people that attacked them first and then they did what all Knights of my Realm do.... they Roxxored you to the ground. At least they didnt give you the ole Tea Bag treatment.

Have a better day tomorrow,
Your Beloved King of GILTOWN
Coyote Jack

[Troop]

I counted you the first time you killed me and you still took my crappy stuff. Therefore, the false king lies and will no longer recieve murder counts. The only way murder counts will resume is if the false king, Coyote Jack, presents Miss Hoff's with a check for the sum of one million gold pieces to help pay for the litter clean up around the new play ground. (We just can't expect the Gnomes to keep cleaning up your mess)

The throne of the false king will continue to undergo desecration by the Gnomes. Thank you for the new toy your un-majesty. I shall enjoy it thouroughly.

That squisshy guy you brought along needs better armor. My weak spells do far too much damage to him. I am not sure about that Purple razin guy as his name is a little confusing.

I am sure that Sunchicken is in the final stages of plotting the coup against you at this point. I have heard grumblings at the shoe factory and it seems that the Gnomes are considering aiding him in his coup attempt.

The citizens of Gilfane anxiously await the payment of a token one million gold pieces to help cover the cost of your activities.

Signed, Troop

[Patty Pickaxe]

And as far as kidnapping Patty Pickaxe..... well If i can't get that old crone to work for ME i sure hope you can get her to make you your shoes

OH NO, YOU DIDN'T!!!!!    *sharpens up the pickax*   You will not call me an old crone and get away with it!!  You better sleep with one eye open so this pickax doesn't wind up in in your head! See if I cook you any more meals.  Oh....wait a minute.... I have no cooking skill, so that doesn't matter.  See if I repair your armor or weapons! 

Citizens, I fear that Coyote's delusions have erupted into full-blown dementia.  No potion I can make will be strong enough to cure him of his disease. 

Troop-  I will not lower myself to making shoes, even if they are purple!!  If you try to kidnap me I will use every tool I have - sewing kits, tongs, scissors, saws, to fight you off!!  There are not enough tea and crumpets that could motivate me, either! 

Ali-  In my time of despair over the death of Spree, I did accidentally give you a murder count.  For this, I apologize with my greatest sincerity. 

[Loki]

MadLibs anyone?

For those who don't know how this works, write down the following list, pick a word that matches the type, then fill in the <blanks> below to see how it turns out! Enjoy!

adjective, plural noun, place, verb pt, plural noun, verb, slang noun, noun, verb pt, place, verb pt, verb, plural noun, verb, verb pt, verb, adjective, adjective, plural noun, proper noun: title, noun, verb pt, plural noun, place, noun, noun, adjective, proper noun: title, name

Dear <adjective> <plural noun> of <place>,

You were <verb pt> this evening for failure to give me <plural noun>. When you <verb> a menu or "gump" (as a <slang noun> calls it) comes up and you can choose to give a <noun>. Since you all <verb pt>, the rules of <place> state you will be <verb pt>. Again and as often as I was able to <verb> for you silly town folk, <PLURAL NOUN> = NO <VERB>. If you think I <verb pt> for any other reason than to <verb> because I was <adjective> you would be <adjective>. And my <plural noun> came to watch the <Proper Noun: Title> pwnwtf your <noun> off, it was you silly people that <verb pt> them first and then they did what all <plural noun> do.... they Roxxored you to the <place>. At least they didnt give you the ole <noun> treatment.

Have a better <noun> tomorrow,
Your <adjective> <Proper Noun: Title>,
<Name>

[Troop]

I am awaiting the payment of one million gold pieces from Coyote Jack. There is a cost associated with cleaning up the mess around the false throne.
The Underpants Gnomes are not happy.

Patty....since the Gnomes have returned have no fear. Purple shoe production is back up to speed once again. There should be plenty of purple shoes to fill the needs of all Britania in short order. In the mean time, I would be highly suspicious of anyone that called you an old crone. The false king is obviously suffering from parinoia along with his delusions of grandger.

No one million gold check presented to the citizens of Gilfane = no murder counts. I will expect speedy payment.

Regards, Troop

[Tjalle]

Once I´m done fighting this monster of lag that found me, Brutus will dust of his sword and come find this new "king"...

[Ktorr]

Beg all you like, I don't give counts.