(from Stratics) EM Event - April 1st

[Blind Otto]

As I know several of ye wisely shun Stratics, and thereby avoid a regular nasty rash, I thought I would bring your attention to the piece below.
Fear not - I have washed it before nailing it to the noticeboard!

Note: By the 1st, UK clocks will have gone ahead one hour. It may be April 1st, but fool me once, blah blah blah. Keep an eye on the town criers. On with the show![/i​]

​
The cart lay on its side, goods were strewn all over the track, and the horses had bolted. She could still hear the protests of her father, as they carried him unceremoniously through the trees: “Help! Put me down you brutes! This isn’t funny! Say, did you hear this one? An orc, an ettin and a troglodyte walk into a tavern, and â€" Ow! Stop hitting me! I am the royal jester, I’ll have you know! Put me down!”.

Glancing around the wreckage, she saw a small pouch with reagents spilling from it, and grabbed it. Running after her father’s kidnappers, she tried desperately to remember the words to a spell â€" any spell. Waving a hand desperately in the direction of her father’s loud complaints, she started to cast:

“In Bet Flam” she yelled. The smallest wisp of flame she’d ever seen shot through the trees and fizzled out in the air. She groaned and tried desperately to remember the words her teacher had tried to impart to her, just before she had accidentally turned his robe into a flock of tiny blade spirits. The healers said he would be back to normal in a year or so, and they said scars were a sign of character, didn’t they? In that case, he would have legendary character.

“In Uus Por!” she shouted, hoping to make them turn around and bring her father back. Instead, she was unceremoniously hauled skywards. As she narrowly missed a passing gargoyle, she caught a brief glimpse of where the vile band were heading, and then her neophyte spells flung her towards a nearby farm.

She staggered to her feet, covered in mashed pumpkins. A farmer who had come to see what had happened to his crop took one look at her, turned and fled. “Tis a fruit elemental! Run for yer lives! Aaargh! Aaaaaaaggghhh!! Argh!”

She sighed deeply and squelched towards the main road. Whoever would rescue her poor father now?



What you need to know:

• Start time is 10 pm UK. That should be 5 pm EST unless Hawkwind’s still messing with time. A pox on folks who mess with clocks.
• We will meet at the EM Hall near the Britain Moongate.
• Gates to the EM Hall will be provided in a variety of places.
• All are welcome. Really. I wouldn’t lie about a thing like that.
• Most of this will be outside the guard zone. Bank all valuables, or leave them at home.
• It IS April 1st. But yes, there is an event. Announcing one and not holding it would be a terrible April Fool’s joke.
• Fruit elementals are not a thing. Give it time, they probably will be.

With gratitude to Lady Hoffs for offering to change the date of the monthly auction, so more people could join in.

So, there ye have it. The original can be found here

"Fruit Elementals"   Please, no. The jokes that would inspire are certainly low-hanging... curses, too late!

[Zardoz of Crete aka Kimi aka Victoria Secret]

Sound like it will be fun and deadly,