(OT) Praise/rant/etc #4

[Eye of Hoffs]

So we made it out of the city-that-shall-not-be-named and finally escaped to the north, despite the best efforts of the highways departments and more construction. I-94 was particularly...interesting. It seems to have been built over many decades at the rate of six feet a day so that you have constant joins in the asphalt. That led to a constant bu-dum, bu-dum, like a really bad 70s disco record with the bass turned up to the max. Bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum, bu-dum, it became kind of hypnotic in the end. Anyhow...

Praise
At last, the great outdoors! Freedom! Clean air! We are at an old timber lodge in Itasca State Park, free from TVs and many of the trappings of the modern world (pay no attention to the man behind the curtain with a laptop and Wi-Fi connection). Looking forward to going out on a long walk today and visiting the source of the Mississippi, although slightly concerned that the breakfast buffet may be as hideous and sugar enriched as the last hotel. Everyone we have seen so far is just about old enough to be our parents (and that's pretty old), so no kids running around screaming and kicking chairs. I would also like to gush about the peace and quiet too but clearly the building codes mandated a/c units even when this place was put together back in the 1600s.

The highlight though is that we have what they call a suite here, which is basically a double and twin room next door to each other. That was the only way you could get a private bathroom. But all this means that I can divide the place into climatic zones with airlocks between. So I can live in the non-air conditioned temperate double, Caroline can be in her sub-arctic tundra twin, and the bathroom has been designated a sort of boreal taiga compromise. Ah...

Rant
Today's rant actually refers to something from a couple of days back in Buildeanapolis but doesn't specifically relate to the city itself or even to the US. See, I am quite willing to pass the blame around and equally disrespect all cultures. But Caroline had used one of her cards for something and had been informed by our son that the bank's fraud department had left messages for her on our home phone. Fair enough, they were checking out suspicious activity. So we looked up a contact number for the bank and found the "using your cards abroad page". This helpfully told us that there is no need to inform them of travel plans because they have intelligent systems able to keep track of such things. Only it was evident that they indeed did need to know about our travels. There was a contact number listed, but just a general UK one. Mindful of how you can get stitched up on international phone call charges, we looked for some alternative freephone or international call option, to no avail.

But then we came upon an option to speak to an online assistant. So Caroline duly entered her query, namely how to phone home without having to also arrange a mortgage from the bank. After a brief pause our plea for help was duly answered by Rasmita from Upper Volta or somewhere. She greeted us with the Hitchhiker's Guide "don't panic" reassurance and proceed to ask more about the problem at hand. After much back-and-forth she triumphantly presented us with a telephone number to call, one that looked suspiciously similar to the one we already had. Ah yes, but how to ring this number without running up many kwachas of debt? Oh, she replied, you must contact your service provider to check relevant call charge rates. But, we protested, we have no idea how to do all that. We have this crappy temporary prepaid device bartered from the traders at Walmartia. How can we respond cheaply to our banking masters' request to contact them? A long pause followed, then Rasmita came back with a new number and shortly afterwards the conversation abruptly and mysteriously came to an end.

So we decided that there was no choice left but to bite the bullet and try ringing up. But no sooner had the number been typed than a sickly sweet, high-pitched American female drawl appeared, "We're saaarry but that number is not available on this service. Thank you for your caaaaall."

With Rasmita having apparently dumped us we then decided to just go ahead and try the original number and hope for the best. And hey presto, the connection was made and Caroline was soon speaking to someone who appeared to be a native English speaker and even from the same country as ourselves and the bank. Amazing! So her name, sort code and account number were passed on and the voice started on the security check, "Please can you give me your date of bir....".

Then silence. Darkness. The lines had apparently been cut. Curses! So we called again. "We're saaarry but there is insufficient credit available to connect. Thank you for your caaaaall."

Unbelievable! Almost $35 dollars of credit which we had got the day before had apparently been swallowed up in about one of minute of an international call. In despair we searched the bank web site once more in the hope of finding a solution. Nothing new presented itself but we did find the help assistant page again. So with no other ideas we tried that once more. This time our query was answered by Geanina from Transylvania or someplace. Geanina asked for more details on our predicament and she eventually presented us with the solution - a number we could call. Only this number was of course the original one. Yes, but how can we call without it costing us an arm and a leg??? Ah, we should check applicable call rate with provider of service. But...but...!!!!! After yet more to-and-fro another new number was offered. Then, once again, the computer announced that the conversation had been disconnected. Maybe there was a network issue but it seemed far more likely that either Van Helsing Telecom had shut down Geanina's call centre crypt or she had decided we were the wrong blood group for her. Either way we were back on our own. Not knowing whether to laugh or cry we gave it one more shot with the latest new number:

"We're saaarry but that number is not available on this service. Thank you for your caaaaall."

Yes, it's quite clear that unless you are one of the fully connected, hard-wired communophiles with your all-singing, all-dancing watches, phones and tablets then you are well and truly screwed these days. The more technology supposedly makes everything easier, the harder things seem to get. And not just technology, everything thing else too. There's sooo much more to be said on this subject but I've gone on far too long for one rant so will have to leave the rest for another day's.

Picture of the Day
The (reduced speed) drive north and unnerving sense of deja vu.

[zalfein]

I think the cheap walmart phone has unlimited data. Just go grab your first free month of "skype unlimited world calling" and make the calls from the skype app on the phone. Would be worth a try:

https://www.skype.com/en/offers/unlimited-world-calling/

Z

[Zardoz of Crete aka Kimi aka Victoria Secret]

Man, I am so glad I am an American, I would have gone bonkers having to go through all of that.

[Dr Alzheimer]

Hoffs, you should start writing travel guides or satirical books. You have great qualities as comedian!

[Lore Denin]

I would also like to gush about the peace and quiet too but clearly the building codes mandated a/c units even when this place was put together back in the 1600s.

  When in doubt - blame England! (US Independence from England 1776)

-Lore

[Ian James]

I second the skype calling. This is how I did all my phone calls to Scotland over the past year to arrange our band trip. Does your cheap laptop have a microphone? You can then just use skype and $5 worth of skype credit will get you VERY far.

[Becca]

You should have done this the last time you came here , it is very entertaining to say the least.  Plus we don't miss you as much heheh.

[Sara Dale]

I love reading these.   Make a book of them    My Travels to the United States.


Oh if the roads up there are cement that is because of the freezing and thawing up there.   Down here in the south we have nice smooth roads.