(OT) Rant #16 (epilogue)

Eye of Hoffs · October 05, 2016, 10:05:29 PM

Still not out of it yet...

Nightmare drive to Chicago with unclear directions, traffic jams, maniac drivers and miserable bleeders who won't let you into the lane when you find out that the bloody exit up ahead is on the left of the road and not the right. I've never seen Caroline so stressed after a journey.

We finally arrive at the car drop-off and board the bus to the terminal. "Which terminal?" asks the driver.

"Five please."

So we arrive at terminal one...then terminal two...then terminal three...then....

...back at the car rental.

"Oh, I'm sorry folks, you should have said when we left terminal three."

Oh ****** yeah, like we are intimately familiar with this route. Jeez.

So we arrive at the check-in. And remember what I have been moaning about modern life? Do you remember the days when a car keys were...keys? You shoved the thing into the steering column and it was difficult to leave the things behind? Well of course, I felt a big lump in my pocket and hey presto, I still had the @@**!!@ keys.

O'hare may be one of the world's busiest airports but a top-notch international one it most certainly ain't. Absolutely pitiful selection of foods. Most pathetic burger and fries I have ever had and there is ONE place, yes ONE, that sells tea. They have two black teas: English Breakfast and Picard's Crap. And guess what ladies & gents, they were out of the normal one. Dandy, just dandy. And what they do have is obscenely priced - over four dollars for a bottle of water.

"You guys don't want Earl Grey?"

Give me a @@@!!** break.

We took a strong dislike to Chicago when we visited a few years back and it has clearly gone shown the spout even mor e since. Never again do we intend to come near this wretched, miserable, stinking, fetid s**t hole of a city again.

"My kind of town?" You're welcome to it, Frank.

Maybe it will all be over soon, but the way our luck is I have a strong feeling that we'll lose both engines over the Atlantic and come crashing down into a freighter carrying sugar cane from the West Indies.

So goodbye cruel world. *sobs*

Ian James · October 05, 2016, 10:23:56 PM

Oh my

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Razz · October 05, 2016, 11:26:12 PM

Quote from: Eye of Hoffs on October 05, 2016, 10:05:29 PMNightmare drive to Chicago with unclear directions, traffic jams, maniac drivers and miserable bleeders who won't let you into the lane when you find out that the bloody exit up ahead is on the left of the road and not the right. I've never seen Caroline so stressed after a journey.

You should have bought a gun and explored the South Side of Chicago's Culture. I hear it's a blast.

*rimshot*

Quote from: Eye of Hoffs on October 05, 2016, 10:05:29 PMEnglish Breakfast and Picard's Crap.

Sara Dale · October 06, 2016, 12:09:56 AM

I hope he made it home safely. I was through Chicago at the airport eons ago. Didn't like it one bit.

Zardoz of Crete aka Kimi aka Victoria Secret · October 06, 2016, 12:24:25 AM

safe travels

Dr Alzheimer · October 06, 2016, 05:46:38 AM

Really looking forward to have you back. Next 14 days I might be able to join some daily hunts

Blind Otto · October 07, 2016, 11:29:08 AM

By Mithras! The last time I heard such moaning and complaining from a questing initiate was when Toth and Vortex were sent to the Yew sheep pens!

But, may your steel dragon carry you home safely, and I hope someone has left a fresh, steaming cup of tea (the good sort!) in the citadel for you!

Hoffs · October 07, 2016, 03:54:09 PM

Return to civilization:

Becca · October 07, 2016, 05:16:17 PM

Like the mug. The breakfast cereal you needed here is called shredded wheat plain. P.S. Welcome back.

Hoffs · October 07, 2016, 06:54:40 PM

Quote from: Becca on October 07, 2016, 05:16:17 PM
Like the mug. The breakfast cereal you needed here is called shredded wheat plain. P.S. Welcome back.

It's not Shredded Wheat, we have that here too. This one is called Weetabix, although that is a cheaper supermarket copy which tastes the same.

CharGar · October 07, 2016, 07:00:25 PM

Is that no sugar added bread clear to the right?

LennyM95 · October 07, 2016, 08:45:05 PM

You should visit the New Country. We have a lot of more tasty stuff over here that you would enjoy. BTW 10 demerits for you not logging into UO often.

Ian James · October 08, 2016, 04:21:55 AM

You can get weetabix here. Usually in the specialty "British" food aisle of the grocery store.

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Zardoz of Crete aka Kimi aka Victoria Secret · October 08, 2016, 12:03:28 PM

Glad to see you safely home after that whirlwind trip to the colonies. I was worried that the plane would lose power and hit that tanker full of that sugar, but I see you made it, surely by prayers and attempting to hold the plane up all the way back to UK.